Can you find love if you don’t love yourself?

Myth: “You won’t let someone treat you better than you treat yourself”

Reality: you won’t be attracted to someone who treats you worse than you treat yourself.

So if you are accepting crappy treatment in relationships, if you are excusing away red flags…

What does that say about how you treat yourself?

You won’t tolerate any bad treatment from others that you that you aren’t already tolerating in yourself.

The role of self-love in relationships isn’t to be able to attract more loving people.

We’ve all experienced loving someone more than they loved themselves.

My partner has loved me in ways I’ve struggled to love myself, and his love makes me love myself more and I KNOW he’s harder on himself than I would ever be with him.

However, you will not tolerate someone who treats you worse than you treat yourself.

If you treat yourself well, you will feel turned off by someone who doesn’t.

If you respond to your emotions with kindness, you will feel turned off by someone who doesn’t.

If you speak to yourself with love and encouragement, you will feel turned off by someone who doesn’t.

And by “turned off”, I mean NOT ATTRACTED—as in, it’s not a push-pull inner battle to let them go, your feelings simply aren’t there for them.

(Because it’s possible to know someone’s treating you badly and still feel attracted to them, therefore it feels difficult to let them go and walk away because you hope they’ll change so that you can be with them)

If you find yourself attracted to someone but don’t like how they treat you, ask yourself “how do I treat myself in this area?”

Chances are, you’ll find you treat yourself even worse.

When turmoil, chaos, and harshness is the inner environment, it feels normal when you attract it externally.

But when you have created an inner environment of love, kindness, compassion, and curiosity (for the most part at least), anything less just won’t appeal to you.

If you are attracted to men who don’t treat you well while dating, walking away is only half of the solution.

The other—and more important—half is to actually learn how to HEAL the parts of you that see his love as a better alternative to what you’re giving yourself.

You wouldn’t feel any attraction if part of you didn’t feel there was something in it for you, a need that you’d possibly get met.

If you just walk away but don’t do the healing work, you’ll likely attract the same thing over and over because your standard still hasn’t changed.

This is where our work comes in.

Dating and relationship coaching is SO much more than giving you a method to follow.

It’s doing the inner work to BE the woman whose standards are naturally—not artificially—high, using each experience to bring you CLOSER to your desire rather than treating it like a numbers game.

But yes, I also give you a proven method and teach you the skills that will completely transform your experience of love